Stewie Wants To Play
by mzjennifer68
Summary: Stewie comes across a special device that some unearthly beings left behind. In an attempt to get it back, they watch Stewie and become intrigued by his level of intelligence. They decide to take Stewie along with their device into outer space. They soon find out that was a very big mistake.
"This soil is still cold, it's hard to dig deep Mathew!" Martha says in her alien language.

Mathew turns around and looks at Martha, "Will you _please_ just hurry up! These hairy creatures like to explore noises and I know they will be here soon! You just do not want to get dirty."

"If you want to hurry up then come help me!"

"Can't you do anything on your own? You are so annoying and needy!"

Mathew sets down his space gun and wiggles over to Martha.

"Give me the device!" Mathew snatches it from his sister alien, pushes it into the ground and comes up with a chunk of soil. "Now what was so hard about that?"

Both aliens jolt their head up as they see headlights approaching quickly.

"We must go, now! I left my device and I cannot stop them or make them move along." Mathew urges.

"But we can't…" Martha is quickly interrupted as Mathew snatches her arm and heads toward their spaceship.

"There's no time."

They both enter the spaceship and fly off before the humans are able to approach and the humans drive by.

At the Griffin's home Stewie is talking to Rupert.

"Oh Rupert, another beautiful day of spring, and I am ready to go out there. Let's find someone who is able to take us outside."

Stewie enters the living room where Chris and Peter are sitting on the couch watching T.V. Stewie throws a ball in the air and giggles. Neither of them acknowledges Stewie. He gets angry and throws the ball at them and it hits Chris and Peter perfectly back to back in the head, but neither of them even blink or break from looking at the T.V. Frustrated, Stewie walks out and enters the kitchen, where Brian sitting at the table reading the newspaper.

"Hey Bri!" Stewie says cheerfully in a high pitched voice, smiling.

"No." Brian responds dryly.

"No what?"

"Whatever it is, the answer is no. You don't think I've ever noticed you are about to ask for something whenever you call me 'Bri', which I hate, by the way"

"Awe, you suck the most anyway." Stewie whines as he leaves the kitchen.

Meg is exiting the bathroom in her robe, walking in the hallway and stops "Hey Stewie!"

"Ahhhhhh!" Stewie screams as soon as he sees Meg in her robe. He quickly runs into his room and slams the door.

"No one ever wants to take us outside, Rupert! I need to make a new come up with a way to snap these people out of their lazy worlds and make them have more fun, and of course, do what _I_ say. It's been so long since I had given up on world domination, but it's about time to reconsider. It is too beautiful for the idea of staying in and working now. I guess I will have to do a last resort, desperate attempt to get outside."

Stewie walks up to Lois as she is folding laundry and holds the ball out.

"Awe, my little sweetie wants to play?"

Stewie uses his biggest, nicest smile, still with his evil eyes, as he looks up at Lois and nods.

"Okay honey."

Lois sets Stewie down at the park playground with his ball in one hand and Rupert in the other.

"Run along now while I talk to the other Mommies." Lois pushes Stewie towards the playground.

Stewie instantly becomes angry "That vile woman brought me all the way here and doesn't even want to play, just sit and be lazy. I hate playing ball with the other kids! They can't ever seem to come close to catching it and giving it back in a timely manner!" Stewie angrily kicks the ball hard and it smacks a kid straight in the face, knocking them to the ground.

"Stewie! Why would you do that?" Lois yells angrily as she gets up.

"Oh no, I'm not going home yet!" Stewie takes off with Rupert in his hand into the bushes to run from Lois. As he is running he trips and falls. "What the deuce?" Stewie's eyes bulge in fascination as he picks up this amazing device. He figures out how to work it immediately and presses the button right as Lois comes around the corner and a strike of light hits her but it doesn't seem to have hurt her. She stops and looks at Stewie. Stewie is so distraught at the thought of going home he just says "No! I don't want to go home yet!"

In a trance Lois replies "Okay sweetie, we will stay."

"WHAT? How could she understand me! She is going to let me stay, too?" Stewie says to Rupert.

"I want you to play ball with me, too." He says his entranced mother.

"Okay, let's play ball."

Stewie turns to look at his new found device. "Oh wow, this will solve my problems easier than a girl in a night club bathroom that realizes there is no tissue."

(Cut to side-scene)

There is bass and music as it shows a girl in the nightclub bathroom with her dress pulled up squatting over the toilet.

"No tissue?" she says as she feels the empty roll. She pauses briefly and then starts twerking to the music to drip dry.

(Cut back to Stewie at the park)

"Victory is mine!"

Camera zooms all the way to outer space where Mathew and Martha are watching.

Speaking in alien language, "Great going Mathew! Now you have really messed up this time!" Martha nags.

"How can he work that device? No human should have been intelligent enough to figure it out!" Mathew stares longer and comments further. "Plus, he appears to only be a baby."

"That is no baby, look at the size of that creatures head. Perhaps he is posing as a baby on that planet." Martha adds.

"Perhaps you are right. His head _is_ entirely too awkward and he clearly functions at a much higher intelligence level over the other creatures of that planet."

"We have to go back. We need that device, and we need to ask him a few questions."

There is a blast that shoots their spaceship back towards Earth.

(Cut to Stewie at the kitchen at his house)

"Make me cookies and milk for lunch" Stewie demands and Lois quickly serves him some in his high chair.

"Go along now vile woman," Stewie waves Lois off, and she leaves.

"How have you done Stewie?" Brain enters the room kitchen and startles Stewie, making him spill his milk.

"Damn you Brian!" he yells.

Nonchalantly Brian looks at the milk and asks, "How does Lois understand what you said?"

"Don't worry about it. You need to worry about cleaning up this milk you just made me spill."

"I'm not cleaning up anything. Tell me what you did, Stewie."

"I suggest you just clean that up before I make you."

"What?"

Stewie pulls out his device and shoots Brian.

"Lick up the milk dog."

Right as he finishes licking up the milk Stewie shoots him again to lift the trance and Brian's eyes bulge as he jumps up and realizes he was licking to floor.

"What the hell Stewie?" He screams in disgust, as Stewie is laughing at him.

"The world shall be mine."

It is night time and Stewie has Lois fluffing his pillows.

Entranced Lois turns to Stewie, "There you go sweetie, your pillows have been fluffed for an hour, just as you said."

"Now lift to my bed and then be gone."

Lois places Stewie in his bed and walks out to meet with the rest of the entranced family at the door.

"Goodnight Stewie!" They all say synchronized, and Lois shuts the door.

"Oh, I can tell my life is about to be a lot more interesting Rupert."

Stewie falls fast to sleep. The aliens are right outside his window looking in.

"If we don't stop him now, he will be our biggest threat ever." Mathew says as he turns to Martha. "Let's get him."

Mathew slides open the window and goes in first. He turns to help Martha in, and as they both turn around Stewie is standing there pointing the mind control device at them.

"Looking for something?" Stewie asks sarcastically. " I guess there is no room left for questions on where this wonderful piece of equipment came from."

Martha uses her voice box to adjust her language to speak to Stewie in English. There is some static, and then it comes out as Marilyn Monroe's voice.

There is a long sound of a deep breath, and then slowly, breathy, and softly,"Oh Stewie, we come in peace."

"Ugh, really? Of all the voices?" Stewie shakes his head. "Never mind that now. Leave at once, or meet your doom."

"Why I just want to be wonderful?" Martha replies.

"Awe, come on…" Stewie is cut off by Mathew shooting him with a different device.

Stewie wakes up strapped down to a board on a spaceship.

"What the deuce?"

Mathew is standing over him. In Arnold Schwarzenegger's voice asks "How did you know how to work the device?"

"Arnold, really? You both must not want to truly be taken seriously."

There is a sudden bang and the alarms start to go off in the ship as it shakes. Martha speaks back and forth with Mathew in their alien language. Stewie looks out the window and sees another ship approaching and firing at them. He watches Mattew pressing the buttons and their ship fires a beam at the other space ship. They begin to speak their alien language over an outside intercom and the other ship pulls up, connects to their ship. Entranced aliens of some other world than Mathew and Martha enter in complete compliance and line up. Mathew speaks to them and points to a door that opens up. They all walk into it as Martha and Mathew follow.

Stewie is fascinated.

"That beam must be some mind control device on a much larger scale than that puny gun I had. With a machine like that, I can take over the whole world at once! This is the chance I've always been waiting for!"

Being so little, Stewie easily slips out of the straps and heads towards the other side of the ship where he saw Mathew operating. He begins pressing buttons and easily figures out the codes to take over the ship. He redirects it to head to Earth and it blasts them right outside of it. Stewie shoots the beam straight at Earth just as he saw Mathew do the enemy ship.

Stewie excitedly shouts "Planet Earth, you now have a new leader! Victory is…." abruptly, Martha snatches Stewie up by his neck.

Mathew stops the trance over Earth.

Stewie is dangling and flailing trying to get free screaming "No! No! This is what I always wanted! We can do this together!"

Mathew asks angrily in his alien language "Why did you leave him? How did he get free?"

"Don't blame this on me; _you_ left the mind control device in the first place!"

"We should have never taken him."

"This was a bad idea from the beginning. His other people are probably watching us now from whatever planet he is really from."

Mathew looks terrified, saying "They have to be more advanced than us! Look how easily he breaks our codes and works our equipment! Send him back to Earth immediately and let's get out of here!"

Martha flings Stewie into a tube and he gets spit out to the Earth.

"We will study him from a distance and figure out what we can later Mathew."

They blast off. Stewie busts in through the roof smoking, rolling, and burning as he slides to a stop in the living room right in front of Brian.

Brain looks at Stewie and chuckles. "You look like you just got rebirthed through the wrong hole."

Stewie looks at Brian irritated and mean mugs him "Oh, funny."


End file.
